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| Stephanie still writing in xanga from time to time has finally motivated me to make an actual post here to update whosoever will come across this on my current life in more than 400 characters that shows up on a facebook status. :). I should do this periodically as well.... I will make that a goal of mine, and I'll do my best to keep things succinct and to the point instead of rambling off on tangents :).
This year has been... I don't even know the word to use to describe it. Not what I expected I suppose. In April I got reallly sick with the worst headache imaginable, and all the energy I had completely sucked out of me. I was on bedrest for 2 months with those symptoms and others constantly and had seen every doctor there is and had every test done within that time and none of them knew what was going on.
I started going to see an Acupuncturist instead and the treatments began helping almost immediately, and have lessened the symptoms down over time, and enabled me to live life fairly normally again, but we are still kinda stuck and the symptoms are still kinda always there just less, but get worse at times and with activity so I have to take it pretty easy, and I've not been working since it all began, because I just don't have the stamina and don't want to risk getting back to how I was earlier again.
ANYWAYS, that is the short of it all. It has been a struggle and continues to be, but I am learning and growing in faith and have gained such a huge appreciation for the joy we have in life just being healthy and able to live our regular lives.
Next time I'll write will be more about current things, since this one has caught me up. I'm the Treasurer for a church sponsored Sorority through the Institute at the U, and that has been a really good experience so far. My parents opened up a used bookstore in February, which is sooo cool, (I just want to read everything!) but we don't have much foot-traffic and are trying to decide what the best thing to do is going to be.
I need to find some more productive things to do during the days, and then I just need to push myself to do them. It is so easy to just kinda sleep forever and lounge around and not get much done. But it is easier and easier on good days now for me to be productive because I realize how much strength I really do have even if I don't feel really good, I don't feel bad or awful.. so yeah.
Anyways, I could write forever, but I'll stop now.
Love you all,
Trish
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| "And when I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name, And I said, 'Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my Best Friend', and You said, 'I Am'." :). | | |
| Meh, meh meh.
I feel the need to write tonight, though I don't know what to write, or why i feel like it. I guess we'll see what comes.
I've been a crazy stream/influx/flood/overflow of emotions lately and I'm not sure entirely why.
I've been crazy sick for 9 weeks now with the worst headaches imaginable and hardly any energy to do much of anything.
10+ weeks ago i prayed for an understanding of what a migraine headache was like, because i wanted to be able to empathize with my friends when they had them; 10+ weeks ago i prayed that the Lord would help me find better friends, because I felt like my main friendships found me wanting- both temporally and particularly spiritually and emotionally; 10+ weeks ago I prayed for an understanding of the necessity of action being coupled with faith; 9 weeks ago I came down with this awfulness.
3 years ago, I began praying for the ability to eat better and healthier etc. 3 years ago the first signs of all of this madness started.
I think the lesson I am learning here is to be careful what I pray for ;).
No, but in all seriousness, I'm so overwhelmed with being able to see the Lord's hand in all of this. It brings me comfort to know that He hears and answers my prayers, and it humbles me when I think of how much He has to put me through to get me to rely on Him and just do what I ought to do and learn what I ought to learn in the first place. I feel so often like I have hit rock bottom and can't get any lower than I am, and then something else happens and I realize how horribly untrue that really is.
I am gaining so much empathy and compassion for people and their pain through all of this. And I am growing so much personally and realizing so much that still needs to be purified in the way that I relate to others through this all as well.
I HAVE been blessed with all of the things I asked for, and more, and it may have come in a way which I didn't particularly want or see coming, but even in that I have gained a Knowledge that the Lord knows best for all of us. Whatever He calls upon any of us to go through, it is for His Glory if we will allow it to be; is there anything Greater than that? Can we ever be more than we are when WE realize how weak we truly are and how much we need God's strength in every thing we do every second of the day?
There is truth in the verse that says that In our weakness God's strength is made perfect; God's strength is ALWAYS perfect; it is just to us as imperfect beings that we truly realize it when we see such stark contrast.
I had something else to say, but my mind has gone blank, so that is all for now.
God is good;
I love you all,
Trish
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| 'People can't deny the fact that I have a bruise on my knee, but they will deny and guilt and tell me that I am wrong to NO END if I try to explain to them why I have one on my heart.' | | |
| The Lord has such beautiful, miraculous, and perfect timing. It is beautiful.
I love you all,
Trisha
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